I was born in Vietnam due to the War.  I was abandoned at the orphanage and later at the age of three, I was adopted to an English & Australian family. My folks are fabulous! They’ve had it tough.  I was a nightmare, as we never understood my crazy and unusual behaviour. (Until reading The Colour of Difference.)  My parents tried to involve me with my Vietnamese culture but I wouldn’t have a bar of it!  I could eat at Asian restaurants, but didn’t want to know about Vietnam’s history or my own. I felt like a freak around other Asians.

I grew up in Kyabram til I was 13.  It was a small Victorian town where I was the only Asian person around.  Kids were so cruel due to my looks and it didn’t help that I have a cleft palate.  I remember when I was in Primary School I was that lonely I would stand around at the tuckshop, pretending to wait for my friends to come out of the lunch queue to share their lunch with me.  How sadly pathetic.  But I can smile now.  Also the school thought I was mentally disabled and wanted to put me in a Special School.  My folks fought extremely hard to improve my language, social and educational skills.  In the end, I repeated several grades and had a lot of tutoring. (I still can’t spell though. :O))

My family consists of Dad who is English, mum who is an Aussie and a younger blond brother and sister, both who are naturally from mum and dad.  I grew up loving to eat Yorkshire Puddings.  I wasn’t close to my brother and sister growing up.  I think this because they were closer in age and had more in common.  They were one year apart and a four-year gap with me.  Also my sister resented me.  I got a lot of my folks’ attention (unwanted though) because I was so confused about my identity, and she thought my life was glamorous and ‘special’.  Now, she still doesn’t understand my life but we have a fantastic connection.  My brother and I are comfortable with each other.

My family moved to Gympie, Queensland when I was 13.  Now Gympie is a hellhole!  It is a back water, stagnant and socially backwards place.  Probably not the best place for a person like me to be.  I was the only Asian around until my late high school years.  My best friend was a Filipino girl who was sporty and outrageous.  I was skinny and shy.  Everyone thought we were sisters!  In the end we said we were.  I got out of there as soon as I finished High School and moved to Townsville to study.

I loved my first year at Townsville.  I lived at the Uni campus and I could smoothly fit into the Aussie groups and the overseas groups.  It was amazing! I could use both my Asian side and Aussie side to connect and help people.  Also, it was the first time in my lectures where I could hear about ‘displacement’ and migrants moving to Australia.  That year I gained confidence, self discovery and I could really blend in!

I moved to Brisbane after my community welfare degree and now I am married and a mum of 2 wonderful boys.  It is fantastic to see parts of my personality in my children.  I can empathise with who they are and how they feel.  I work part time as a support worker to assist women with disabilities.  My husband has been my rock.  He has supported me so much and understands a lot of what I feel.  He is also adopted.  Both his birth parents and adoptive parents are Australian. I love Brisbane because I can blend in and yet stand out :O).  I am a very happy person.  I love my family and I am proud of who I am. 

I‘ve read somewhere that ‘when you look in the mirror, you see a Vietnamese stranger looking back at you, not the white Aussie person inside.’ That is me!!

I’m only interested in going back to Vietnam to understand more about my culture.  I don’t need to visit the orphanage or to find my birth parents.

Just recently I learnt from my parents that my birth father is most likely ‘white’.  I felt so cheated and disappointed.  My life has been a struggle, spectacle and racially focussed for only being half Vietnamese.  It’s not worth it.  (I hope I haven’t offended anyone.)  I am cool with it now.  It’s nothing I can change and it doesn’t change the person inside.

Read about Jen's Reunion Trip